I’d like to clear something up. Not all Emo Girls are alcoholics. A lot of them are. I mean how could you naturally go with an emo guy without having to take the edge off?

Think about how much anguish emo chicks go through too. How could they get up in the morning if they didn’t have a crutch in alcohol?

drunk_emo

I’d say 50% of Emo girls are alcoholics. It’s a conservative estimate to be honest as the figure is more likely to be at about 90% but I’m prepared to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I’m tired of being harassed by under-age Emo Chicks outside the liquor store who want me to buy booze for them.  If I’m carrying an umberella, I’ll chase them with it until they’re far enough out of sight. It’s disgraceful behavior especially when you consider how rude they are to me normally.

If an Emo is drunk they will come up to me and call me a “generic conformist loser” before throwing up all over my shirt. It’s at times like this that I immediately report them to the authorities. I don’t mind being called a conformist loser but the last thing I need is for some girl to be vomiting all over me.

If you’re a parent with an Emo kid, be sure to keep them from drinking as it will only lead to a live full of misery and crime for them.